Link of Honor
Rob Bernhard, Cetan Inc.
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What a frustrating trip to the mall!
Yesterday was a crappy day. Too add to yesterday's unhappiness, I want to point out to the world that there is not one piece of clothing in the entire Spring Hill Mall that fits me correctly. Nothing. Not even shoes. :P (That's me sticking my tongue out at the entire mall and all the mall employees and all their children and their children's children for generations to come.) All I wanted to do was find a nice top to go with my pretty sweet new coral-colored skirt. No dice. Nothin'. The only things that fit are matronly and unflattering. Everything else is too skinny in the stomach, or too stupid with cheap tacky lace crap on it. Who the hell wants to wear cheap tacky lace? (Oh boy...this is starting to sound like a rant!) Coral is apparently one of the "hot" colors this spring, so there are lots of coral clothes out there. They are all just wrong. Not even the clothes at Lane Bryant (my dear, sweet, reliable, trendy, flattering Lane Bryant!) were working. I am now officially too small for the fat girls' store and too fat for the regular stores. What the hell! I am a relatively normal sized person! Where does everybody else who is normal shop? I seriously do not know what I am going to do with that cute coral skirt. I have NOTHING that goes with it. And apparently, there is nothing in the stores that goes with it either. I just want a simple, non-fussy top with a v-neck or scoop neck and short or 3/4 length sleeves. A light coral would be preferred, but white would do just fine. I don't want it to be a t-shirt, because that's not dressy enough. And it has to be flattering. I don't think that's TOO much to ask, is it? If you find my top out there in the world somewhere,
please bring it home to me. Sigh.
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